The DU d'RAT Review: Your Monday Hoot! (Or Should I Say Screech...)

The DU d'RAT Review

I created this blog as a response to the hypocrisy, nastiness, and negativity at Democratic Underground. The D'RATS do not allow disagreement on their site; they demand their posters tout their party line word-for-word. Any poster who does not march in lockstep is immediately banned. Their cowardice in this, and their calumny towards America's leaders, will not go unanswered as I address the issues of the day--and one of the most negative, detrimental influences in the blogosphere.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Your Monday Hoot! (Or Should I Say Screech...)

Ape Over Hillary

By Andrew Cline

OZ -- A mysterious army of winged monkeys today endorsed Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y. for president of the United States."Eeeeeee! Eeeeeee! Cliiiiiiinton! Ooooooooo!!" declared a recorded statement released by the unnamed simian horde.

Primate specialist Dr. Ben Oogan of the University of Toronto translated the utterances into an endorsement of Sen. Clinton for the presidency. "At first I thought it might be 'Apple, orange, Clinton, banana,'" Oogan said. "But then I slowed down the tape, and it was clearly 'Make witchy Clinton big banana.' There's no question that's what they were saying." The tape was then sent to other primate specialists, who all reached the same conclusion."

Most people will find it remarkable that a magical army of winged monkeys is devoting its energy to endorsing a candidate for president of the United States instead of, say, doing the bidding of some wicked witch that has enchanted them," said Dr. Rufus Poole of the University of Kentucky. "But as a specialist in simian linguistics, what I find remarkable is that the monkeys have formed a single word for Hillary Clinton. I mean, they don't even have a word for cheese. For some reason the senator has managed to concentrate the attention of these monkeys in a deeply profound way. If only I had a $6 million federal grant to study why this might be, we could have an answer by 2011."

Dr. Ted Quiggle of the San Diego Zoo said he believes the monkeys want something and think Sen. Clinton will help them get it.

more...

http://www.spectator.org/dsp_article.asp?art_id=12325