Long, But Really Good...
A Liberal Democratspeak Primer
As liberal Democrats celebrate their ascendancy to congressional power for the first time in 12 years, I feel it my civic duty to develop a primer for all those moderate and conservative, Independents and Republicans, who voted for them.
By doing so, they will be able to better understand what the person they voted for, as well as the mainstream media, most academicians and pundits, will really be saying in the coming days, weeks, months and years. The following is a list of terms you will be hearing from those newly empowered by the 2006 elections.
Tolerant - The American Heritage Dictionary defines this as, "Inclined to tolerate the beliefs, practices, or traits of others." So, for example, when someone approves of gay marriage, they are described as being tolerant.
However, liberal Democrats are not "inclined to tolerate" all "beliefs, practices, or traits of others." Polygamy is one that comes to mind immediately.This was very apparent when liberal Democrats brayed in righteous indignation when Rick Santorum had the audacity to suggest that legalizing gay marriage would legitimize polygamy (see Jonathan Rauch and Andrew Sullivan).
Always remember that, in the world of the liberal Democrat, gay marriage is ordained as acceptable. People must show their tolerance by condemning those who oppose it. Polygamy, being a Republican, or being pro-life are different. One can show venomous hatred for them and still be considered tolerant.
Immigrant Bashing - Now in the real world, this means one opposed to all immigrants. However, in the world of the liberal Democrat, the term is applied to those who are opposed only to illegal immigrants, (also known as undocumented foreign workers, undocumented aliens, uninvited guest workers, those who do the jobs that Americans won't do or whatever euphemism du jure liberal propagandists create). By labeling those opposed to illegal immigration as opposed to all immigration, liberal Democrats can now paint their political opponents as xenophobic racists.
Opposed to Stem Cell Research - Just like "immigrant bashing," is used to deceive the average person into thinking that those who oppose illegal immigration oppose all immigration, the term "opposed to stem cell research" is applied to those who are only opposed to embryonic stem cell research, not stem-cell research using adult and umbilical cord stem cells.
Closing Gun Hole Loopholes - Liberal Democrats believe that the reason there are so many gun murders in our big cities is that guns are being obtained from gun shows. There, according to them, gangsters buy arsenals of automatic assault weapons without having to be evaluated for criminality and sanity. They then use these automatic weapons to wantonly murder people.
Yet, according to the 1997 Survey of State Prison Inmates done for the U.S. Dept. of Justice, Bureau of Crime Statistics, Firearms and Crime Statistics report, among those possessing a gun, the source of the gun was from a flea market or gun show for fewer than 2 percent of the time.Capital punishment/mandatory sentencing - Liberal Democrats would much rather close gun show loopholes than support mandatory minimum sentences or capital punishment - two proven, effective methods of reducing gun crime and murder.
Great Economy - During the Clinton years when unemployment was low and the Dow Jones Industrial average was high, we were treated to daily stories by the media of how wonderful the economy was. One columnist even suggested that Rubin and Clinton had actually solved the problem of the boom /bust economic cycle.
During the Bush years when unemployment was low and the Dow Jones was establishing record highs - past 12,000 - we were told that this the worst job creation since the Great Depression.
Decreasing Crime Rates - When crime rates decrease during Democratic Party administrations, the news media prominently and repeatedly report it. When crime rates decrease during Republican Party administrations, you never hear it reported in the news.
Centrist Republican (sometimes called Moderate Republican) - These are Republicans who agree with Democrats most of the time. They are usually found in the Mid-Atlantic and New England states. They believe in abortion-on-demand and gay marriage. They are opposed to capital punishment, mandatory sentencing of criminals to prison and increasing defense spending.
Blue Dog Democrats - These are conservative Democrats, usually Southerners, who the Democrats will not allow to speak unless they need votes or to create the impression that the Democratic Party is not the sole repository for left-wing thought.
Reproductive Rights - This means the right to have an abortion, which is, as we all know, the right not to reproduce.
As mentioned, this is a primer. The list is not all inclusive. Some terms will need to be added, and others modified, as liberal Democratspeak is very fluid. This list is strictly a public service - for all those voters who wanted to teach Republicans a lesson in 2006 - so they will understand what is happening.
Now, if your kid has an abortion without your knowledge - and someone asks why there is no parental notification law - you can say it was because of your vote.
Now the next time someone who has a prior murder conviction shoots and kills again, while on parole - and someone asks why they are not in prison - you can say it was because of your vote.
Now when a hostile foreign country has a missile aimed at your house - and someone asks why we do not have a missile defense system - you can say it was because of your vote.
Now when a liberal judge is appointed to the Supreme Court - who will rule that enemy prisoners should be Mirandized on the battlefield when being captured - you will know it was because of your vote.
You can take comfort, though, from the knowledge that, despite all of this, you taught Republicans a lesson. This is, after all, what you wanted.